I was speaking with this friend of mine last night who is normally a seemingly good person, but yesterday she did something that really pissed me off. I have a phobia that I have had since I was younger. It is not debilitating and does not affect the day to day goings on of my life, it is just something that I don't like to think about, I won't watch movies or television shows about it and I don't like to talk about it. On the chance that I happen to see a show or movie about it, I turn and try not to think about it at night, otherwise, I will have a hard time falling asleep. Again, it is very easy for me to avoid this thing and doing so doesn't make me into some weird freak, it isn't as though I'm afraid of tissue or aluminum foil or something like that (sorry if you happen to be afraid of tissue or aluminum foil, I'm sure you're not a freak, I was just using that as an example). It's a pretty obscure thing that I'm afraid of actually, and I really only have to confront the fear like maybe two or three times a year, nothing big. Anyway, this particular friend happens to know my phobia, so while talking to her yesterday, she kind of indirectly touched on the subject. Right after she said something alluding to the subject, she immediately said, "oh, let me not talk about that, I know that you are afraid" and then instead of NOT talking about it, she went on to talk about it. She then told me that I need to "get over it", suggested I see a doctor and that I just "need to talk about it". Now, let me reiterate, it is not as though this is a common everyday thing people talk about like maybe q tips and then I start screaming. #1 - It's a pretty obscure topic as far as normal conversation goes, #2 - My phobia is something that only affects me, if I am sleeping alone at night, it is difficult for me to sleep because essentially, I become very afraid. I couldn't believe she was doing that, I was very upset and thought, WTF?! I put the phone down while she was going on and on and then got back on the phone and told her, "Not to be funny, but I really don't think that's cool. It isn't funny, it's a genuine fear of mine and I really just don't like to talk or hear about it." She then went on some more about it, I mean, My God! If you know that someone is afraid of something, even if you yourself find it silly, if this person is your friend or even not, if you have compassion, you don't just go on and on and then dismiss this person's fears, what the hell is that about? I thought it was so rude as well as being disrespectful,I asked my Mom about it and I don't think I'm making more of it than I should.

So, I spent time with New Guy and Mysterious Ex yesterday. I had a good time with both of them though I must admit, I was so tired last night. I went straight to bed and slept the entire night through. And God, I was so full, I hate so well yesterday, not that I normally don't eat well but, I didn't have to cook, it was wonderful. I had a sort of brunch, late lunch with New Guy, we went to see a movie and walked around a bit, he bout me flowers, red roses which I like and then he brought me home, I invited him in for a bit but told him I had to get dressed because I was supposed to go out again. He assumed I was going out with my cousin and I didn't correct his assumption. The only problem was, he offered to drive me to meet her and he knows I am unemployed (dropping me off could save me money in carfare), but I told him "she" was coming to pick me up. I then ran, took a shower, re did my makeup (for a more night time, sultry look), and changed into my night time, come hither attire. Mysterious Ex and I went to eat, then we went to the pier which is one of our favorite places, (we went there on our first date). I had a great time with both of them and have decided to take the advice given to me and just enjoy myself for now. I guess things will work themselves out.

The interview went pretty well, I was really nervous and kind of weirded out about it but, it was far better than I expected. The kids seem well behaved and it is a position I mat seriously consider taking. I have three interviews this week (woo hoo!) so I told the mom I would let her know later this week. I have an interview with Lane Bryant (a plus size clothing store) for a managerial position, and two schools for employment in September. Ideally, I would LOVE to get a job at Lane Bryant that I would keep until September, and then start teaching again. I am not sure if that is how things will work out but, it's good to dream. I'm supposed to see Mysterious Ex again tonight but truth be told, I'm not sure if I'm up to it. I appreciate his trying to make more of an effort towards our relationship but truthfully, dating two guys is hard, I don't know how people carry on affairs, have marriages and jobs. If I'm going to have to go back to work soon (which I hope I will), someone's going to have to go because I am not sure if I can keep this schedule up.

Samson and I have spent the entire day together, I felt so bad since I pushed him off on my mom yesterday. Feeling like a guilty mom, I bought him a hot dog when we went to the park he was quite happy slurping it up so it alleviated some of my guiltiness. The thing is now he's funking up the house. I think I'd rather feel guilty than be in here with this stench.

Eaten Yesterday:
Brunch/Lunch: Rice, Broccoli, Spicy Chicken
Dinner: Stuffed, smothered pork chop, green beans, macaroni and cheese

Hours on Phone: less than 1

Resumes: none

Exercise: No formal exercise, did a lot of walking

Bought: nada