Despite all of my staying

in the house and my "bah humbugish" attitude, I've been having a pretty decent, if not conventional week. I have tomorrow off (love the NYC Dept. of ED!) so I have a three day weekend ahead. The weather hasn't been too bad this week, so, I've been wearing really great outfits, been feeling quasi okay. This weekend, my Cousin T has vowed to keep me OUT of the house so, tomorrow, which she took off since I am off, we are going shopping, then to lunch then I guess to a movie. I NEVER go to the movies unless they are independent or I REALLY, REALLY want to see them (they look EXCEPTIONALLY good). "Regular" movies usually aren't that good and I get angry for having spent 12 dollars on some dumb hour and a half long movie. She'll spend the night with me, and then the next day, we're supposed to go to MOMA and then to her God daughter's birthday party. We'll go out to dinner afterwards. On Sunday, I'm supposed to have brunch with this guy that I've been telling I'm going to have brunch with for like weeks and since this weekend seems to be the mark of the end of my self imposed hibernation, I figured, what the hell, I'll go.

The school I interviewed with last week sent me tis huge package asking all of these questions (8 in all) that they want me to return to them by next week. The 8 questions have to be answered essay style and have to be more than 600 words but less than 800. It's quite irritating and I'm not looking forward to doing them. One part of me says to not even answer the questions, I think they may not hire me and I reallly don't want to spend hours and hours doing something for no reason but, the other side of me is like, just do it, you never know right?

I stopped speaking to Mysterious Ex about a week ago. I told him I didn't think our speaking to one another was beneficial to either of us. I love M.E. but I think I've come to the realization (for like the 50th time), that he and I just can't be together. Though we have this attraction to one another, not just physically but we are "at home" with one another, he's so wrapped up in everything else to be in the kind of relationship I am looking for. On the one hand, he says, as he always says, he wants us to be together and like I've said many times, on paper, he's exceptional but in the flesh, things just don't pan out for us. He's always off doing this that and the other and yes, I'm supportive of his desire to do so much for his financial life but, where does that leave "us"? So, once again, for like the 7th time in three years, we are not speaking. He tells me "we can't stay apart, you know we'll be together" and, I don't have an answer for him. I know that what I want and what he is offering right now isn't getting it so, I have to once again tell him goodbye. It hurts a bit but, that's reality.