Just wanted to see if the picture thing works

This is Samson, my baby. And those are my rustic wood floors in my studio.

Why Are People I Know So Crazy? (and does this mean that I too am crazy?)

My day has been quite busy thus far though, I haven't really done ANYTHING. I was supposed to clean my house, wash my couch cover and sheets, clean my downstairs living and dining rooms which since because I NEVER use them, are very dusty. I was supposed to then wash my hair, give myself a facial, exfoliate my skin and sew a shrug out of this big satin shirt I have (because I have gotten very fat and my arms are all jiggly, the dress I am wearing tomorrow to the wedding is a "tube" dress, not really a tube top style, but there are no shoulders, no straps so that's the best way to explain it) but I have done nothing. Why? Because I have been on the phone ALL DAY!

First, my cousin T called but I love her and she's wonderful so I really don't have anything to say about her other than I love her and she's my greatest, bestest friend.

Then, G called and got on my nerves, the funny thing is, I didn't realize it was her who was calling, (I didn't check the caller ID) but became so intrigued by what she had to say that I had to stay on the phone. Apparently her mother, HER MOM, is having an operation and asked if she could come to NYC (G used to live in NYC until about February when she and her fiance moved to Baltimore) to help her out for about a week. Mind you, G is not working right now so instead of saying SURE! like any decent daughter/son/friend would, she said no, BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT! Could you imagine?! But, she is coming to NY the following week to finalize plans on her wedding. HER MOTHER! Not the next door neighbor, not her aunt that she doesn't know and hasn't seen since she was 2, but her MOTHER, the woman who gave birth to her and raised her. I can't get over that.

Then a friend of mine called, I will call her The Girl Who Has a Really Great Life and Doesn't Even Know It. This girl is living some kind of life, she has a great job, great husband, UNBELIEVABLE house in a GREAT neighborhood (her house must be worth AT LEAST 4 million dollars) and 2 wonderful children but for some reason, this is not good enough for her, she wants more so she randomly screws people. I mean like meet them today fuck them tomorrow type shit. I really don't approve of what she does but, she's a great person, I really like her. So she's telling me this story about how she is screwing this man in her car, the car that her husband bought her outright, no loan, no payments just "here honey, here's your new car" the same car that she carts her children around in, while her husband is at home watching the children because she has to "work late" and in the middle of this story I literally tell her,

Me: "Just stop!, WTF are you doing? Do you even realize what you're saying? You're fucking some man in the car your husband bought you the car you take _______ and _______ to school in and what do you want me to say? Do you want me to laugh, do you want me to add something to your story or make some kind of comment? Why are you doing this? What do you get out of this? I don't want to hear this, you need to take a look at what's going on with you and decide whether you want to stay in your relationship or not because this is fucking ridiculous, you're being disgusting".


The Girl Who Has a Really Great Life and Doesn't Even Know It then tells me "Don't judge me, I need you to listen as a friend."

Me: "A fucking friend? You need a goddamned psychiatrist, why do you think this is right? Why do you think I am supposed to just sit here and listen to this?" (Her story was very graphic and though I won't give all of the details, it included the words: dripping, knees, ass, bent, carseat and dick. Mind you, the words: condom and safe didn't come up once, hene the dripping)

She then went on to discuss some argument she and the extramarital man had and she tried to compare my situation with Mysterious Ex to her situation with the extra man. That really made me upset. As f'ed up as Mysterious Ex and I are, I am not married to him or any other man and he is not married to me or any other woman. Neither one of us is betraying someone when we are having spats and none of our screwing (WHEN we are screwing) is taking place in some car. (Also, the car was parked in some parking lot, god, that's gross!) I think I'm going to go back to incubating myself at least from some people because I just can't take this. These people are crazy, and while I probably am too, somehow my craziness seems more contained than theirs, I don't know.

Eaten So Far Today
Breakfast: Oatmeal, Apple Juice (going back to fast on Sunday lost 9 pounds then gained 2 back)

Hours on Phone: over 5

Exercise: none, other than my mouth

Bought: dog food for Sam, and Scrapbooking supplies (going to start a Sam scrapbook since I don't have a kid)

Resumes: None, got called in for a sample lesson next week and an interview for a "FREE" school closer to home (when I find out what a "FREE" school is, I'll elaborate)

I was speaking to my friend G the other day who sometimes strikes me as being a strange person. I mean, she's nice on the surface, but she sometimes says things that leads me to suspect that she isn't as nice as she actually lets on. Actually I can't even say "leads me to suspect", she very often says things that leaves me wondering WTF? Just weird, selfish and often childish stuff. So, not very long ago, she and this girl who she used to call her best friend stopped speaking, mind you, I am the youngest out of anyone I hang out with or even speak to, these women are in their thirties. Anyway, no one really understood the reasons which lead them to stop speaking and when G told me why, my first thought was "WTF?! we're grown, that's some kindergarten bullshit". Anyway, G and I were speaking about something or other (by the way, she has taken to calling ME, her best friend, I'm not exactly sure why, but ah well) anyway, we were speaking about whatever and I made a reference to something we were speaking about (maybe political or a law, I'm not sure) being mysogynistic. I know that I said if we lived in a matriarchal society "that" (whatever it was) wouldn't happen. She then replied (I remember this part clearly) that the world could not be ruled by women because women were vindictive, coniving and jealous of one another. I replied, I don't think that's true, that's a stereotype that is perpetrated by men and that personally, I didn't find that stereotype to be true. She then responds, well it's true of me, I hate other women when they are prettier or smarter than me, I don't like to think of women doing better than me. I completely shut up because I never heard anyone say such a thing, I mean even if they thought of it to themselves.

I began to think of the way she has been with people in the past and I had to think, she knows herself better than anyone, she's telling the truth. Then it dawned on me, when I ran my business (which was a pet oriented business), she NEVER bought one thing from me, even though she has a dog whom she loves and even though she claims she told everyone she knew who had a dog about the business. In fact, during the time that I was running my business, she bought more than several things for her dog that I myself was selling. Now, I am not saying that she should HAVE to buy things from me, but if a person is my friend and they open a hanger store then you better believe that from now on, I will at least get part of my hangers from her. It's just about supporting your friend. EVERY person that I knew who had a dog or cat, bought at least one thing from me, some people bought some things on more than one occassion just because they liked the products I was carrying, but she didn't buy one thing. I then thought about the way that I have seen her treat people that we both know and how I have HEARD about some of the things that she has done and I thought to myself, I don't think I want to be this girl's friend anymore. I mean, she hasn't done anything horrible to me, but I just really don't like to surround myself with people who are negative like that. So the problem is this, how do you break up with a friend? I've broken up with two friends in the past in a rather chicken shit way I will admit, I just stopped speaking to them, it was childish but effective. Another thing is this, at this point, she and I are both at the same stages in our career. I am now deciding that I am going to be a principal because frankly, I don't want to spend the next 40 years in the classroom and plus, I'd like to make over 100,000 a year. I told her this is what I was going to do just in casual friend like talk and now she is talking about being a principal. Is this because I said I was going to do this or because this is a realistic career goal of hers? Truthfully, I don't really count her amongst my friends, the four that I do have, so it won't be a huge loss but still, why does she have to be that way?

Another thing is, I mentioned my blog since this is sort of therapy for me and she tells me, "I came across your blog, I know where it is". I asked that she not read it, I know that it is up here for EVERYONE to read but, I don't want people that I personally know to read it, it's just weird. She tells me, since you don't want me to read it, I won't, I'll respect you. Let's see if she really does.

What the Fuck?

So this just happened like 2 minutes ago, I happened to be on line so here I am blogging my little heart out.

My brother came by to visit The Heavenly One so of course I went by to say hi. My nieces came back to my house with me becuase they wanted some furniture and crap for their Sims game and I have some on my computer from when I used to play. Anyway, this girl, actually WOMAN who used to live on my street YEARS AGO when I was like 7 or so came back to visit her mom who still lives on my street. (I used to live here when I was little, I moved into my own apartment then moved back when my dad left me this house). Anyway, my nieces heard the ice cream truck so naturally they ran outside to get some ice cream, I gave them money for their cones and asked that they bring me back one. This WOMAN who was/is a crackhead, dopefiend, dopehead, whatever your choice for a drug addict is , personally I like crackhead says "Hi His Name" to my brother. She then goes through the motions of asking about his kids, whether he got married, blah, blah. By the way, I know all of this because I heard it through my living room window, I was being a good auntie and copying game files for my neices while they went to get ice cream. Anyway again, she then says, "I saw your sister the other day, she's a big one." What the fuck? Sorry we can't all use crack as a diet modifier you fuckig crack head! Since when do crackheads have the authority to talk about other people? And by the way, for a crackhead, this girl had to be pushing about 200 so what is SHE talking about? The nerve of some people. Fucking crackhead.

Goodness Gracious the Vapors

For those of you who don't know, the Vapors is basically snubbing someone when they become "larger" than you or trying to hang around with someone you wouldn't ordinarily have hung out with now that they have acquired some kind of noteriety or something in their life has changed drastically.

The Vapors have struck some of my family. This is basically how things work, my brother and I being the two siblings in my family closest in age hang together. My brother is married and has two children but he's still my brother. We talk on the phone, we go to lunch, sometimes with his family, sometimes not. Last year my brother and I went on vacation together we went to visit our sister so it wasn't as though we were off in Cancun or anything, my brother and sister are cool, dare I say, I am cool. I have like 4 friends, 2 of them being women that I have known since age 0 and age 11 respectively, 1 of them being a cousin. She is the only person from my family that I consider a friend and one of two people that I speak to regularly. My brother is basically the same way. He has like 4 or 5 friends, 1 of them being his friend since he was a kid, 1 of them being a cousin and the others have been friends of his since he was a rookie (my brother's a detective). Anyway, my brother, my sister (the cool one) and I steer clear of most of my family. Why? Because they are nuts. Coincidentally, my other sister, the one who I can't stand, LOVES the rest of my family, she too is nuts but that's a different story that I will get around to at some other time. Anyway, my brother, sister and I have always been on the outside of the rest of my family, we always found company in each other even though we are spaced out in age. I say all of this to lead up to this story:

The Bride asked four of our cousins to be amongst her 18, EIGHTEEN bridesmaids. Here it is June 21, 4 days before her wedding and ALL FOUR have dropped out of her wedding. Why? Who knows. Could it be because these women aren't married and they are jealous? Could it be because this woman and her man seem kind of happy and they don't want to wish them well? Could it be because they are a bunch of evil bitches and no one should do that to any woman especially on her wedding day since she thought enough of you to ask that you be apart of her special day? I think that's the proper answer. All I know is it has caused a HUGE thing in the family as of course it should. Not only that but her caterer (who is another cousin and who caters for a living) has told her that since she has another event that day, she won't be able to cook all of the food she promised her since the other people paid The Caterer full price and The Bride did not even though get this, The Caterer INSISTED that she pay her half price, "we're cousins after all" was her reasoning. Isn't that some bull shit? Mother's are being called left and right even though everyone involved is at least 34 and in some cases, in their 40's. This, is why I don't talk to these people, they are fucking nuts. And, since other cousins are supposed to be the hosts and hostesses and are creating seating arrangements, etc. people are calling The Bride and her mother (who in turn calls my mother who in turn tells me who in turn tells you) "I don't want to sit next to __________, if you sit me next to him/her/them, I'm not coming. Such aggravation. Needless to say I feel very sorry for The Bride but, I did tell her sometime last year, you're married, fuck it, just buy a house and call it a day but, I guess people have to have what they want.

This weekend, Mysterious Ex got his truck back so we spent Sunday together, all day. We spoke a lot and went to my brother's for dinner. My nieces loved him as they always do and I have that stupid googly "I love him" feeling again. We're supposed to have dinner tomorrow and he promised (yet again) that he wants us to be together. He told me, "I love you. You've got to know that." When asked by one of my uncles, who happened to be at my brother's house, "When are we going to your wedding?" M.E. answered "Soon". But the crazy thing is, I'm scared, but I won't get into that now.

Today, The Heavenly One went to get some new glasses. Being my mother, she can't wait for anything so we had to go to this special eye doctor (in a fucking mall of all places) that all her friends told her about who has glasses ready in about three hours. So, 8 o'clock this morning, we trekked off to New Jersey which other than going to IKEA, is a place I usually drive THROUGH rather than drive TO. Her driver got us there in like less than an hour which I thought was rather cool and we asked him to be back around 1:30. We put in the order for her glasses, she paid. We did a little shopping. She bought me a new sleep mask (beautiful silk), some eye mask gel thingy that I've always wanted and never bought, some pricey body wash and a dress (rather expensive, I wouldn't have bought it). She bought a watch, a new LV bag, (as though she needs another), some pajamas and a dress. We then went to a day spa (a very nice one, there were water falls and fountains everywhere, that place alone was worth the trip) where we got manicures and pedicures and leg and hand massages. We ate cinnabons and coffee and went to pick up her glasses and then went outside thinking her driver would be waiting for us. So we waited, and waited and waited and waited. We called him, he called us, he was lost and his GPS system was not working. He began doing this crying, whining thing (which is actually sad considering he has to be in his forties) and we didn't get home until nearly 7. What a crazy day. Of course since we traveled by car and I expected to be in the lap of luxury all day, I wore 3 1/2 inch heels which hurt my feelt soooooooo bad. I was thisclose to going to PayLess and getting some 5 dollar flip flops but alas I did not. Needless to say, I am very tired and my feet are killing me. Sadder than that is tommorrow is my niece's kindergarten graduation which I promised her I would attend but which at this moment, seems like a promise I should not have made. I will turn in now so that I am refreshed and beautiful for tomorrow.