Yesterday, after the children in my programs where dismissed, my staff and I came back to our main office to quickly review the day and pack up to leave. Right outside my office window, there were a group of about 25 kids aged from about 10 to about 15-16, boys and girls alike. They were fighting, punching and hitting one another almost like the people in that movie Fight Club. Then, they ganged up on one child, like alomst all of the children against one. I began to open the window and yell at them because that's what I tend to do when I see things like that. One of my staff members stops me and goes, 'mind your business, that's a gang initiation'. It was surreal because the kids really seemed as though they were trying to hurt the one child they were ganged up against. They were kicking him, punching him in the head, throwing him against a fence, it was insane. I then said I was going to call the cops but all of my staff members said I shouldn't so instead, we just watched.
I turned away because I couldn't watch it. I could not watch young people of color #1 destroy themselves, #2 Willingly take part in something that I know will bring such grief and sadness to their lives. When they were done, they spit on the boy then they all hugged and shook hands. It was crazy.
The saddest part about it was I recognized three of the boys in the group. They were a part of my programs from the beginning of the school year until about January when my supervisor made me remove them from program because they were older than the age I was supposed to serve. When the boys came to me respectfully in the beginning of the year, they asked could they join the programs because they I QUOTE, "didn't want to be in the streets". Two of the three boys came to program faithfully EVERY single day until the day my supervisor saw them and made me get rid of them. When removing them as participants, I brought them on into the program as interns, paying them in gift certificates and gift cards and they continued to come, just wanting to be a part of something. When she saw them again, she said plainly, "they CANNOT be here in ANY capacity" so, I had to deny these children entrance into my programs and now they are in a gang.
I failed these children.
Here I am, my mission in the world to create a better place for young people. To help them grow into well rounded, well exposed adults. To help them be better than they can be and all I've done is help them join a gang.
I am leaving this position soon.
A bit ago I said and thought I was passionless but, that isn't true. I just have to find some way to target my passion. To help people, no matter their age.
This afternoon, I am going to go out and talk to those boys if I see them. I am going to re-enroll them in my programs no matter what anyone says. I cannot watch the lives of these young men go to waste because of some stupid rule. These children's lives are at stake. That, righ now, is my mission.
