12 days to go until my birthday

and all continues to be well. Believe it or not, Mysterious Ex, tried to come back on the scene. He called me one day to ask how I was doing and since he is a computer whiz, I asked about an external hard drive. He said he would pick one up for me and never the one to deny free crap, I said okay. He came over to drop off the hard drive. We hugged, he kissed me on my forehead, we spoke for a few minutes and then out of no where he said he loved me, wanted to be with me, he knows taht for years he's been back and forth, in and out of my life but this time, he was sure, he knew more than anything else in this world that he wanted to be with me. And... he CRIED. HE CRIED ACTUAL TEARS. I just looked at him because I was so shocked. I know for a fact that a year ago, two years ago, hell, a few months ago had he come up with this charade of his, I would have been happier than Sam after a good roll inthe dirt but, I looked at him, told him I was flattered but, "it" wasn't there anymore. "I can't believe I'm saying this to you" I told him but, we are not to be, I'm okay now. And, I've been correct. Of course, I care for him, I love him, I want him to be happy but, I don't want him, not anymore. So, after four long, hard years, the thing with Ian (Mysterious Ex, M.E.) is REALLY over.

Things with The Brit have been GREAT! I ADORE him. He has been such a gentleman, so wonderful, so kind, so sweet, so honest and real. It truly is a pleasure to know him, spend time with him, exchange emails with him even just thinking about him. I know I sound mushy but, I don't care. I am in deep like, he says he is in love but, we'll see how things progress.

I am proud to say that I have stopped all of the foolishness from last month even though admittedly, sometimes it is slightly hard, I won't lie. I often get the urge to NOT accept his compliments or NOT allow him to adore me but, I remind myself to just relax, enjoy the moment and go with the flow. Today, we were exchanging emails during working hours and I told him "I like you. A lot." He answers "I LOVE you." I answer, "Go on" he answers, "I'm serious. I'm going to love you, worship you to my dying day. Seriously." Eek! Makes a girl want to squeal. But sincerely, it is wonderful to be part of something so sweet and gentle. I've had a lot of foolishness in my life and this is a very welcome change. As stated before, even if nothing comes of this I am enjoying this moment. I am enjoying this now.