I am trying to remain positive and be upbeat. When I am with other people, it is very easy, I laugh, make jokes, enjoy being around them but, when I am by myself, it hurts a lot and admittedly, I have been crying a lot. I just finished crying as a matter of fact. It doesn't make me feel much better but, it does feel as though some heaviness has been alleviated, even if only for a little bit of time.
I continuously try to see the good in people but, it is very hard when I always come across people that I can't seem to find much good in.
I spoke briefly wih the Brit and (surprise!) I spoke with the other girl. He keeps pledging all of this love and affection for me, telling me that he wants me, wants to be with me but apparently, he's been telling this girl the same things.
I am convinced there is something wrong with me. It is IMPOSSIBLE that one person can continuously run into the same foolishness time and time again. I even found myself texting Ian (Mysterious Ex) tonight. Yeah, it got THAT bad. I'm not sure what hearing from him is supposed to do for me but admittedly, I am just very lonely very tired and very hurt. I'm not sure how much more I have to give to anyone. Myself included.
