4 Days until my birthday

Its Thanksgiving and everyone is at my place. What does it say that they are all in the kitchen and dining room and I am in the office typing this?

I feel a little distant today. A bit not here. I tried to laugh and talk but, it wasn't coming so freely so, I'm in here typing this and listening to Jill Scott's newest album.

My Brit is back in England. Sadly, his sister was hurt in a car accident. His entire family went back home from all over the world. He says she isn't too bad but, he hasn't given me any details as of yet.

I'm not sure how I feel about turning thirty. I mean, of course I prefer it to the alternative but, it kind of reminds me of all the things I though I would do by thirty that I still haven't done. Well, actually, the biggest thing which is/was get married and have babies. I don't want to harp on that again. But, I'm honest with myself and honestly, I really feel that is what is bothering me today. I guess being around my family and seeing everyone with their significant other and their babies, makes me kind of sad. Partially, I was looking forward to spending this weekend, my nirthday weekend and the holiday with the Brit but, since he is not here, that isn't going to be a possibility. I don't want to sound upset, I do understand that his sister is in not very good shape and needs the support of her family at this time but, it would have been nice to actually spend a birthday with someone I enjoyed.

Ian (Mysterious Ex) called me last night and this morning. I just let the phone ring. I'm not sure of his purpose in calling me but, I just wan't in the mood to listen to whatever foolishness he felt like throwing at me. I'm through with him and his bullshit.

So, as of right now, I don't have any plans for my birthday, poor me. I guess I'll think of something.