Yo, this is the dumbest thing I have seen all day

Now we know why the "terrorists" knocked down the Twin Towers and why Hurrican Katrina left thousands of people homeless. It was all Ellen Degeneres' fault.






According to Pat Robertson, whom FEMA listed as the second organization to give money to only after The Red Cross and who spends half of his charitable money to fund his own media empire, Ellen is this reason why all of these horrible things keep happening to poor Americans.


“By choosing an avowed lesbian for this national event, these Hollywood elites have clearly invited God’s wrath,” Robertson said on “The 700 Club” on Sunday. “Is it any surprise that the Almighty chose to strike at Miss Degeneres’ hometown?”

Not the fact that the first President Bush and his cronies years ago fucked over Afghanistan and in particular Bin Laden, not the fact that America has for years fucked over any country it feels it wants to and has therefore spread a hatred for it's citizens world wide, not for the fact that Katrina was a FUCKING HURRICANE, a WAVE that started off of the coast of Africa about a month ago, no, it's all Ellen's fault. Jesus God what a fucking idiot!

“This is the second time in a row that God has invoked a disaster shortly before lesbian Ellen Degeneres hosted the Emmy Awards,” Robertson explained to his approximately one million viewers. “America is waiting for her to apologize for the death and destruction that her sexual deviance has brought onto this great nation.”




Guilty of death and destruction? You decide.

at Work

So, I'm sitting here "working" and I am playing around on line. My friend K sends me this email about the whole Katrina thing from "the black perspective" which if anyone who knows me personally knows that this whole situation has pissed me off. Not to say that this one incident has pissed me off, I have always been generally pissed off with the way Black folks have been portrayed/seen/treated/allowed to live in this country.

After 9 - 11, many of us (me NOT included) fell into this "we're all Americans bullshit". I for one have always known I was a Nigger, I am, and will always be a nigger. No amount of degrees I have earned and standard American English flowing out of my mouth would ever change that. I know who I am and what this country perceives me to be. I have experienced too much adversity in my short life to make myself believe otherwise.

Will this be a wake up call? I doubt it. If children being bitten by dogs, arrested, shocked with tazer (sp?) guns and drowned with water hoses 40 years ago was not a wake up call, a few poor homeless niggers aren't going to change shit. So, my friend Keyah, who is an optimist and also I think a closeted Republican tells me, "you think too negatively of what's going on, we've made such great strides, the government has been shamed into improving situations, you'll see". Keyah, I love you, you are great but that's not going to happen. Why wasn't the government shamed when it was selling your great grand mother and my grand father to the highest bidder? Why wasn't it shamed when it passed a law declaring you 2/3 of a human being? Why wasn't it shamed when local law makers and mobs of men hung black men from trees and cut off their sexual organs as a way to pass time after a Saturday night beer (my great grandfather being one of them)? Why wasn't it shamed when it allowed ADULTS to throw rocks at a SEVEN YEAR OLD girl as she tried to go to school? Why wasn't it shamed when it ordered it's officers to tazer my friends mom and my father (who had a scar on him arm from the tazer) as they marcehd for basic rights? Why wasn't it shamed when it didn't allow you the right to vote until 1965 and in some cases 1970? Why wasn't it shamed when that man down in Texas was dragged behind a pick up truck leaving his body trailed along the highway and then Governer BUSH didn't even meet with the man's family (they sat in his office for about 2 hours before they were told he wouldn't be coming out). Why wasn't it shamed two weeks ago when "fat Tony" in Bensonhurst beat that guy who was coming from his girlfriend's house nearly half to death ("Fat Tony" claimed he thought the guy was out to steal someone's car, I guess his 9-1-1 buttons weren't working on his phone that night)? Where was their shame then? Then, to make matters even worse, or better depending on what side of the argument you're arguing I read this:

GOP Congressman, Rep.Richard Baker of Baton Rouge was overheard telling lobbysits the following, concerning Hurricane Katrina and the damage it caused:

"We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn't do it, but God did."


What the fuck?! This is the shit I am talking about. If you go to this man's
website, the biggest thing up there is For the PEOPLE of Louisiana. Are those who live in public housing not people? I personally know people who live in public housing and no one lives there because they want to. People live there because they HAVE to.

Now, I am by no means saying that every single Black person one comes across is going to be on the straight and narrow, as people are individuals and should be treated as such. But it is just inherent bullshit like this that keeps things the way they are. This week we've PUBLICALLY heard Barbara Bush and this Baker guy say what they feel but millions of people think and feel this way, they just don't have sound bytes of their racism readily available on Fox News. It makes me angry because this is the kind of thing that keeps people from getting ahead. This is why the schools in our neighborhoods are deplorable because we are "you know underprivileged anyway so this is working out fine for them"* this is why when I apply for a job with not one, not two but four degrees and more experience at 27 then most people will have at 40, I get passed over. Because "actually it's kind of scary but everyone I'm speaking to says they want to stay in Texas"* I guess having a big black woman in the office would scare people.

*Both quotes from Barbara Bush.

What the fuck is scary about a family relocating? People do it all of the time but because an influx of Nigs want to move to your neighborhood it's scary?! I'm too angry to finish now.

It's the middle of the night, I have to go to work in the morning

and this is what I'm doing:

The Egg Game It's SOOOO addictive.

Am I 15 Again?

So, I was once again speaking to the father of my future child and he goes, "Hey, MY NAME, why don't we get together this week, I haven't seen you in a while". "Huh, I'm busy this week" was my response. I'm scared I've gained a lot of weight since I've last seen him and I'm almost certain he'll be all Ewwwwwwwwwww! when he sees me. Why do I think this. I'm a fat girl, always have been, more than likely always will be. I think highly of myself most of the time but, never being this big before, I must admit I often feel not bad about myself, but just weird. I've gained I don't know how much weight, but I know that my thighs, legs and waist are all about 4 or 5 inches bigger then they were. How much weight that equals, I am not sure but, it bothers me at times, I won't sit here and say that it doesn't. The last time I saw him, I know I was thinner and more in shape, I have those two stapled together pictures to prove that to me. I have this weird notion in my head that if I fast and work out like crazy for the next week or so I will be able to lose all the weight I've gained in like the last year and a half. I don't want to feel down on myself, but, I don't know, I think I'm sad.

Made it home in less than two hours

So, I'm home. The day was pretty decent. I LOVE my new assignment. I teach two classes, then I have prep, I teach another class, then I have lunch, then I have TWO periods of assistant deaning where I sit in my office, waiting for teachers to bring me their bad kids. Today, two kids came in. One didn't want to open his notebook. The other was talking back to the teacher. I asked the principal, "Shouldn't I walk around to show my presence in the school?" She tells me, what if someone needs you? Stay in your office MY NAME. Bet. So I sat there. I fiddeled with my computer, did some lesson plans, I LOVE this job. I tried to add the links to my blog but, it turned out to be some weirdly shaped mess so I changed it. Well, going to go take Sam for a walk, bother The Heavenly One and then come home for a nap.

Some People Really Are This Stupid

I probably should be working, but I guess that's one of the advantages of having your own office, and a laptop, and a working phone line. Part of my new job description, starting today, is to be an assistant dean, I have been stripped of my 5 classes a day and left with just three, for two periods, I sit in this/my office and wait for teachers to bring bad ass kids here so that I can give them a talkin' to. I guess working all of those years in the "big bad ghetto" got me somewhere after all, (it may have something to do with me getting my Masters in Educational Leadership but, since that isn't finished, I prefer to believe it has to do with me working in Bushwick). Anyway, I much prefer not having to teach five classes everyday and these children are NO WHERE next to bad. I've taught BAD and CRAZY kids, these children are just teenagers, working their way through some hormonal shit and trying to prove how "down" they are in front of the other teenagers. Since I am only one of FOUR black teachers in a school that is all black and latino, I have been given this duty. Miraculously, the other three black teachers have also been given some kind of "with the kids" assignment. Two of them have been appointed "rap" counselors, to talk to the kids twice a week during a group session (their schedule has also been cut to do this). And the other black teacher, the only male, has been assigned lunch/recess duty, it is supposed to be against our contract but he doesn't seem to know that, I think he's new. I'm debating whether I will saddle up to him and tell him about it later.

So anyway, was talking to a fellow educator, not one of the four. I'll call her Pippi Longstocking becase she is walking around with these fucked up pigtails even though she has to be like 35. Now, I am not against pig tail wearing, I rock them OUTSIDE OF WORK. I wear them to the store, to THO's house, while I'm cleaning up and while I'm pretending to exercise. I might even wear them to work if we were having a sports day or some type of fun event, but not on a Monday, the first day of "real" classes, with a bunch of teenagers who are just looking for some excuse to cut you down. Come on. So anyway, Pippi Longstocking and I have this "conversation"

PLS: My goodness, did you hear about what happened down in New Orleans?

Me: (Thinking somethning worse had happened between watching the news this morning and getting to work, and bracing myself for it) Oh my God, what happened?

PLS: You know, hurricane Katrina

Me: Uh, yeah, I heard. (What am I, an idiot? Who HASN'T heard about this you moron?)

PLS: All those people, it really sucks

Me: (Not wanting to be bothered, she is now in my mind an idiot and I don't want to waste time, effort, thought or breath on her) Yeah.

PLS: My friends and I usually go to Mardi Gras like every other year or so. We're definitely going in February, it's probably going to be so crowded, everyone's going to want to see what happened, like at Ground Zero (where the Twin Towers where in NYC)

Me: ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Like half the city is gone dude. In NYC, it was just that one spot that got hit. This is like more than half of the city. Mardi Gras is the least of these people's concerns. There are like 4,000 bums left in the city anyway, who are you going to Mardi Gras (using it as a verb) with?

Some Random Teacher butts in: Yeah, what are talking about Pippi?

PLS: You think it's that bad? (this question sounded pretty genuine)

Me:

Some Random Teacher: Are you serious?

PLS: I'm sure they'll have it fixed by then, that's like 4 months away.

Me:

Some Random Teacher: Actually it's like 5 but did you see the news? It's like totally devastated down there.

PLS: But, the French Quarter seemed okay.

Me:

Some Random Teacher: Like 60% of the city is under water.

Me: Well, I've got a class, gotta go.


I'm sure Pippi has a Masters degree. I mean, she's teaching high school literacy. What the Fuck is wrong with her? And, she's teaching someone's child? This is some bullshit. I swear, when I have my son/daughter, I don't want to be nasty but, I'm going to be up in the teacher's ass. I wouldn't want someone doing that to me, but then again, I'm not an idiot man.


I think I'm going to like this job. Other than the traveling, which is awful, it's pretty easy and I get an office I can fuck around in for like three pweriods a day (2 periods of assistant dean duties, plus my prep) this just might kick ass.

I Don't Want to Go To Work

Spoke to the father of my future child which I will call JW (just because I'm really not in the mood to come up with a more creative name). So, JW is very sweet, nice and kind but, today after we spoke, he calls me and tells me to check my email because he has sent me something. When I open the mail, it is a few pictures of him, naked, smiling and posing for the camera. While I must admit that I was impressed by what I saw, I am not really attracted to him. He's very light (for a black guy) and it's just strange for me (sorry if I'm sounding racist). All the guys that I have slept with and seriously dated have been very dark skin though strangely, the two girls that I've slept with have been very, very light. I don't know if he was expecting me to get back to him like oh, you're so hot or whatever, I just didn't respond at all. Also, he's a cit on the thin side, he's lost some weight since I've seen him last. Again, I don't want to complain, but I'm used to screwwing fatter people, male or female. I know this sounds ignorant but, I just don't want my baby to be some skinny bright kid. All of my life I've envision these big, fat, BLACK babies. I always thougt I would marry some fat dark guy and have these big, juicy, black babies and it just seems weird to me to face the possibility of that not being so. I guess that entire thing is stupid anyway because here I am being a teacher for a lot longer then I ever thought I would be, who ever thought I'd be back in Brooklyn right in this house again? Not me. Who thought I wouldn't be married at all when I decided to become a mom? (again not me) and who would have ever thought that I would try to become a principal? The funny thing is, I was just reminded of this, when I first began teaching when I was 20, the guy who fingerprinted me was this old black guy and he tells me, oh, you'll be a principal in a couple of years and I told him, not me, I won't be doing this for too long which such an aire of "you stupid old man you" in my voice and here I am, doing exactly what I said I wouldn't, that's funny. So, I guess I better get over what I thought I would do and what I am doing really quick because other wise, I'm just being an asshole.

Spoke to MD (really nice church guy) today. He's sweet but he calls me every week and invites me to church. Does he like me? Does he think I'm a heathen? Who knows.

Why do I insist on staying up late at night when I know I have so much to do in the morning? I don't know, just one of my weird and strange quirks. I figured with all of the up and down the stairs and hills I'll have to do this week, I'm burning about 2,000 calories a day just going to, being at, and coming home from work. If I skip breakfast (which no one should do really) eat just a salad for dinner and have a "sensible dinner", barring all baked goods (I did make my cookies this weekend and shit are they good) I should theoretically loose like 3 pounds a weeks which would kick ass if I can stick to the salad for lunch and sensible dinner thing. At this point, I would just like to get back to my regular size, which is about three sizes smaller than I am lugging around right now, be a nit healthier since I do a lot of sitting around and doing nothing and be a little smaller before I get pregnant. I want a real pregnancy belly, not a jelly belly, (which I could easily be on my way to) so, I am especially going to try to do sit ups and the like to get my once flat tummy back to some semblance of itself. Well, guess I'll go to bed now.