Its VERY official

I've been duped yet again. Wow! I almost can't believe it.

So...

I'm 30, yay! Not much has changed, not that I expected it to. Work is work, life is life, Sam is Sam. I'm not really sure what's going on with the Brit. As nice and sweet and charming as he seemed, it seems I wasn't the only woman he is being nice and sweet and charming to. We haven't spoken in a few weeks, things just got really weird. At first, it didn't bother me much, at least I tried not to let it do so but, las night, I laid in bed and I cried, I cried, I cried, I cried. It really hurt and I did my best to let it all out.

Tonight I had to go to a function and my mom, The Heavenly One, being the suportive can of wonderful she is came out to be supportive of me. At the function, other women my age were there with their husbands, fiancees and that hurt a lot. I'm just tired still of the same old shit, the same old experiences, the same old nothing.

I have reassessed myself and my life, my thoughts, my actions and I can honestly say, I don't think I'm doing anything entirely wrong to keep attracting all of this bullshit and horribleness into my life. I even spoke to Ian (Mysterious Ex) about whats going on with me and even that dude was like, honestly, you're really really great, you're a wonderful person, you're a good woman, I just think men don't know what to do with you. You make people think about all of the things they are lacking in their lives, you're just really well put together, at least, that's the way I saw it, like I couldn't give you anything you didn't already have. So, I'm back to that shit. Too good for my own good I guess. Its just sad, I'm not really sure what else to say so, I'll leave it at that.