Why am I so greedy?

Eaten Today:
A bunch of shit

Exercise: Walked about three miles

Bought: Contact fluid, herb plants

Hours on Phone: a little more than one

Resumes: none (not sure if I am going to send out any more

So, after a week of not eating, I decided today to "treat" myself. I bought a bunch of my favorite bad foods and then proceeded to wash them down with a milkshake. What a horrible, horrible, terrible idea. I have been in and out of the bathroom all night. On top of that, I don't think my body likes that kind of food anymore. Instead of feeling like, "wow, that was good!" I feel more along the lines of "what the fuck did I just do to myself?" Needless to say, I think this will be my last pig out session for a long, long time. Not eating or rather eating very little is not as bad as it seems. I do miss my peanut butter everything cookies, and I definitely miss the smell of having something baking in the oven, but I got so sick tonight, I'd rather miss my cookies then have my head and butt in the toilet because of them.

I went to the gyn o today because I've ben having these weird pains in my uterus. my symptoms were very much like endometriosis, spinning me into weird infertility thoughts, it turns out I have fibroids which while not the greatest thing to have, are definitely better than having endometriosis. I told Mysterious Ex I was sad yesterday and not really feeling well and he rushed right over, he basically stole his cousins car so that he could get here. I felt so bad because it has totally been my intention to break up with him because I was so upset but then I think my god, how can I break up with him? How many men would steal a car (even though it belonged to a family member) just to come see if you are doing okay? Plus, I have to go to my cousin's wedding next week so we'll see after that. I'm so flippant at times, that something I don't really like about myself.

The Heavenly One and I had a pretty cool night. We watched movies together, ate a bunch of junk food and then both got sick. Let's just say I'm glad my mom has two bathrooms in her house because there would have been trouble.

Since most of my plants died in the great freeze out/heatwave of '05, I bought some new plants today. It was kind of upsetting because the plants I grew were really cool varieties like zebra, orange, striped, black and purple tomatoes along with some raspberry corn and purple cauliflower and now I'm growing regular run of the mill red tomatoes and white cauliflower. Ah, guess I won't be able to impress the neighbors with my wonderful back yard skills this year. I'm really tired, I've had a long and quite sickly day.