Day Five of the Fast and 6 Pounds Lighter

Eaten Today:
Breakfast: Apple Cider
Lunch: Apple Cider
Dinner: 3 cups of popcorn and 10 croutons (I was hungry) Apple Cider

Bought: Jesus, I bought graduate courses, $2,500 worth

Hours on Phone: about 2, talked to G who is one of the strangest people sometimes

Exercise: None

Resumes: None though, I was offered another job, that's three in the past 2 weeks or so

Day five and I'm 6 pounds lighter. Is this worth it? I'm not sure yet, we'll see by the end of the month. G told me if I take a laxative every few days I can lose like three additional pounds a week. Sounds a lot like an after school or LifeTime program to me but hey, I'm grown, I'll try it, if I feel sick, I'll stop, if not, 9 pounds a week here I come. Today, just because I'm an ass, I tried on a dress that I used to wear but which ver recently would not even go down over my new humongous hips and guess what? It did not fit like it used to but, I was able to wear it. It went down over my hips and did not rise up the way skirts and dresses that are a little too tight tend to do. My stomach is the hugest it has ever been though and that shows through the dress so I have decided to do or at least attempt to do a few or more crunches a day. I am not looking forward to doing these crunches nor do I know how I am going to convince myself to do them daily but, I will try. I figure by my absurd calculations that if I eat three or four but no more meals a week, I should lose 18 pounds by the end of the month. Is this safe? I'm not sure. Is it smart probably not. But, I'm still going to do it. I have no patience to lose weight the slow and proper way. I know I'm a sicky, so what.

Why does M.E. keep calling me? Do we talk this much normally or is he just this worried? I wonder if his little mind wandered back to the days when he would do this to me. Probably not. Today, he left me the swetest message but instead of me going awwww like I guess I should've, my response was just, why is he being so sweet to me? What's wrong with him? What did he do? Yet another tragedy has occurred over at casa de M.E., apparently a tree in his yard fell. I swear, either this man is the greatest liar in the world or, he has the worst luck ever. He left me another message so that I could hear the tree take awayers revving up the motors of their chainsaws. This is yet another reason why I should break up with him, I don't want all kinds of tragedy and calamities entering my life. Imagine we get married or something and now pipes are bursting, trees are falling, I'm getting into accidents, etc. My God.

Samson and I had a rather pleasant day today. It was hot as all hell out but, we managed to sweat over to the park. We hung out with The Heavenly One and Delilah for a bit, then we came home and took a shower, individually of course. I washed my curtains, he played. I dusted, he slept. I mopped the floors, he ate. I put clothes away, he slept. I guess a good time was had by all. I am supposed to go shopping with The Heavenly One tomorrow, needless to say, I AM NOT looking forward to it. I LOVE my mom but GOD!!, I HATE HATE HATE going shopping with her. She has to look at everything 6, 7, 8, 9 times, she has to ask the saleswoman why the things in the store are so expensive when she ONLY buys expensive clothes. She has to try stuff on, over and over and over. Then she has to get accessories. After all of this, she decides she doesn't want the things, then I complain and threaten to leave her at which time she then purchases said items only to return them for the things she originally looked at. Arrrgh!! The ONLY cool thing about shopping with her is she ALWAYS lets me get a couple of things so, I can deal with all of her foolishness (though at the time believe me it is agonizing) for free clothes. Especially clothes that I would probably never buy unless they were on sale.

My tenants grandchildren are visiting. Now, my tenants are pretty nice people. I very rarely see them and even rarer hear them but they have the three LOUDEST CHILDREN EVER PUT ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH! My tenants apartment is 8 rooms an truthfully the only time I ever hear them is if I happen to be in the bathroom and they flush the toilet or run a bath or occassionally I may here one of them cough or sneeze if they are in the hall and I am going down to my lower level. But now all I hear is:

(don't know exactly who it is so can't give a name or even sex of child)

Child#1: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (this goes on for the entire exchange of following words)

Child#2: STOP STUPID! I HATE YOU! DUMMY! AHHHH! GRANDMA! AHHH! GRANDPA!

Child#3: HA! HA! HA! (run, run, run, run) those are running noises

Female Tenant: That's not nice, stop, put that down, no, stop, say sorry, no, go sit down, watch t.v., I'm calling mommy.

Child#! (changing tone of cry) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Child#2: MINE! STOP! OW! NO! STOP! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Child#3: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! (run, throw, jump, jump, run, throw, fall) WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Male Tenant: behave, stop, no, stop, (calling wife's name rather loudly) come get these kids

Child#1: (not to be outdone) WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (somehow louder than before)

Child#2: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Child#3: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


The whole time this is going on, Sam and I look at each other then the ceiling Sam of course gets up, barks, sits down, barks, poor thing. I swear the ceiling is going to fall in. These kids are supposed to stay for half of the summer. I don't want to be rude to my tenants because like I said, they are normally nice and I can't even imagine what they are going through first hand up there so I have decided to try and tough it out. As I am writing this, all is quiet so I guess they wrestled the little monsters to bed finally.

Even though it is late, I am going to trek over to The Heavenly One's house for the night. Tomorrow is the third anniversary of my dad's death and the day after is her 33 rd anniversary so I know my mom will probably not want to be alone. I guess I'll take her out to lunch after our shopping excursion. If I can drop 2500 on some classes I guess I can buck up 50 dollars to feed my mom.