How does one lose 3 pounds in a day? I'm not sure, I was trying to figure that out myself. I know that I put on a skirt I wasn't able to wear last year, and I know that the capri pants I had on today didn't fit this well two weeks ago. I was actually very afraid at the three pounds in a day weight loss thing. The Heavenly One thinks maybe I didn't read the scale properly yesterday or that the heat had something to do with the scale not functioning properly. Who knows.
Today's shopping trip was not as bad as I thought it would be. THO bought me a skirt that I LOVE and would definitely not hav ebought myself because frankly, my pockets are not as deep as hers. It is lovely and like any impatient person, I want to go out tonight and wear it. THO and I didn't go out to luch today. We shopped so long that we didn't really have time. My mom asked her car (yes my mother has a car, it bugs me out at times) to pick us up three hours after we started shopping and she didn't have her driver's cell number so, we went back to her house where I laid on the couch, she gossiped with her sisters on the phone, I drank apple cider and Sam and I hung out in her yard. As a side note, my mom's yard is so much nicer than mine, I've always known but today it really struck me. She has patio furniture and I have dirt, she has a nice grill and I have dirt, she has beautiful flagstone and I have dirt. I've used my yard in the past to garden but this year the only thing that hasn't died is my garlic and my green beans.
I thought The Heavenly One my be a bit sad since today is the anniversary of my dad's death and tomorrow is her wedding anniversary but she seemed fine. I thought I might take her to dinner tomorrow or at the very least cook for her but she mentioned that it wasn't something she was interested in doing. My brother may want to do something at the spur of the moment for her so I will give him a call tonight.
I haven't heard the visiting grandchildren since I've been home. I was hoping maybe they went home or possibly off the visit some other relatives, I guess I'll have to wait until around dinner time in order to see.
I spoke to Mysterious Ex today even though I really didn't want to. While I was speaking to him, I just kept thinking, "What am I doing?", "Why am I putting myself through this?" I just wasn't in the mood to be bothered with him really. He drives his cousin's or his friend's car to work almost daily, on the days that he himself doesn't drive, someone picks him up. Anyway, on the days that he does drive, he makes no effort to spend time with me. I am not going to ask him to come see me or spend time with me, if that is something that he wants to do then that is something that he is going to have to do. He lives on the Island which as I said is over an hour away from me but, if he has permission to drive whoever's car back and forth to work, why doesn't he get or ask for permission to bring the vehicle near my house? He was a bit upset while we were on the phone because he tells me that I sounded bothered and that I was conversing with him in one word answers. I wanted to say, "Because you get on my fucking nerves and I'm tired of your bullshit", but of course I didn't. He then got very upset over this conversation:
Mysterious Ex: "What are you doing tomorrow?"
Me: "I don't know"
Mysterious Ex: "You don't know?"
Me:"No"
Mysterious Ex: "Do you want to go out tomorrow?"
Me: "I don't know"
Mysterious Ex: "You don't know?"
Me: "No, it depends on how I feel tomorrow I guess"
Mysterious Ex: "You're not going to feel well tomorrow?"
Me: "I don't know how I'm going to feel tomorrow, I might not be alive tomorrow"
Mysterious Ex: "Oh". "So you don't know if you want to go out?"
Me: "No"
Mysterious Ex: (quiet for a very long time and I know he was getting upset) "I'm going to go now"
Me: "Okay"
We hang up.
Now, what the fuck? He thinks that because he suggests we do something after not seeing me for all of this time and running and addressing every other need and every other person in his life that I am supposed to just jump for joy? "Oh yes Mysterious Ex, I am so glad that you took the time out of your busy schedule to find an evening for me. What joy! What an honor! God bless you for bestowing your time on me!" I mean give me a fucking break. Even asshole New Guy spent more time with me. I mean my God. We discussed this in depth, we talked about this before we tried again, I told him this was one of the worst parts of our relationship but like I've said many times before NOTHING HAS CHANGED. As I've said, regardless of the circumstances surrounding the outcome, the outcome is still the same. He tells me, "I don't have a car right now". No shit Sherlock but when you DID have a car guess what?, Same shit. The same shit happened in June of 2004 that is going on right now. I mean, I have been patient, I have been understanding, I have waited like a "good girlfriend" and everything is still the same. Now because you go, "Let's go out", I'm supposed to jump up, throw on my Sunday best, forget my feelings and trot out the door with you? You've got to be kidding me.
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