The most posts ever posted by me in one day

Wow, I've never written this much in one day but there's so much to write about. I'm sitting here eating the rest of those tea cakes I baked in a state of semi shock. It was so shocking, I had to tell Mysterious Ex, though I told him it happened to a friend of mine, not actually me. I don't like to lie to him and truth be told, I am glad I had so many strained feelings about the New Guy thing. I've decided today that no matter our problems, no matter all of the b.s. we sometimes go through, no matter that I sometimes get upset with him, Mysterious Ex is an okay guy. He's not to my knowledge, lied to me, I'm not worried about some other woman coming and de throning me. Holly GoHeavy sent me this a while ago:

Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.

At the time, I thought, wow, what a beautiful thing, that's so sweet, but it's one of the first things I thought of today. Was this New Guy thing my lesson to look at what I already have? Why do M.E. and I keep coming back to one another? After a year, our relationship is finally becoming what I wanted before, does something like this just take time? Are we so conditioned to think of love as this bang, boom, knock you to the ground type of thing? I always say I want a lasting, trust filled relationship based on friendship that's going to last a life time so duh, why do I think that would happen in a few months time?

I am 27 years old, it has taken me this long in life to understand who I am, what I want and how I am going to go about getting there. Mysterious Ex is 33 and he now knows what he wants, basically the whole shabang as me, what makes me think that two people who are bumbling through life trying to make it work individually can just come together and instantaneously make it work? Basically, I have new perspective on what is important to me. Mysterious Ex sent me this months ago when he was trying to get back together with me:

I will bring you a whole person
and you will bring me a whole person
and we will have us twice as much
of love and everything

I be bringing a whole heart
and while it do have nicks and
dents and scars,
that only make me lay it down
more careful-like
And you be bringing a whole heart
a little chipped and rusty an'
sometimes skip a beat but
still an' all you bringing polish too
and look like you intend
to make it shine

And we be brinigng, each of us
the music of ourselves to wrap
the other in

I will be bringing you someone whole
and you will be bringing me someone whole
and we be twice as strong
and we be twice as true
and we will have twice as much
of love
and everything

That's a poem by Mari Evans. I love that poem and I think it says a lot.