I am so Excited

I have three interviews over the next three days, all with great schools, all OUTSIDE of my neighborhood. One is almost a guaranteed job, the principal and I had a lengthy phone conversation, she just basically wants me to come check out the school on Friday (woo hoo!) It isn't that I despise my neighborhood but, the schools here do not educate the children (sadly) as I feel children should be educated. When I first started teaching, I thought that I would fight the problem from within, teaching my children against the stupid curriculum set up for children of color but, I met with so much backlash. In a way, I am so upset because children who live here are missing out on a huge advantage in life because the school system sucks. Not only does it suck, but everyone knows it sucks and no one is doing anything about it. I guess I am copping out by leaving the neighborhood the way so many teachers do but, for my own sanity and piece of mind, I cannot continue to teach down to these children. Being the fantastical person that I am, I thought I would go back to graduate school (once again) and get my certification in school administration, that way, I could be become a school principal in a few years and I could make at least one quality school in this god forsaken place. I school where REAL learning could occur.


EWWWW!

So this morning, I am walking down the street to my mom's house, (my mom lives literally five houses down) so of course, I'm not going to get all dolled up to walk a few houses over, I mean no one's even outside at that time. Anyway, I was wearing a pair of red jogging pant capri pants and a t shirt with a sports bra under and a pair of flip flops. My hair was thrown into a raggedy ponytail and I had no makeup and my glasses on. Also, my face was smeared in cocoa butter (my moisturizing beauty secret) so I looked as though I had just run ten miles in the dead of summer (read, my face looked greasy and sweaty). Anyway, as Sam and I were walking up the block, this grimey, two toothed, smelly looking, jobless (read, not unemployed but "I have NEVER had a job" looking kind of guy), man tells me, "Mmmmmmmmm, you look good enough to eat, let ME (louder than rest of sentence) know when you want me to eat you". I just looked at him in utter disbelief. I mean not to even talk about how gross his choice of words were but, did I look that bad? I mean come on, I may have had on my workout clothes but did I look like I was on this guy's level? I mean Jesus, he had like TWO teeth (maybe an exaggeration but a very slight one) in his mouth! Had he been pushing a shopping cart and had a needle sticking out of his arm, his look would have been too complete. I almost burst into tears thinking this man thought that I was "get-able" to him. I don't want to turn into this kind of chick but, from now on, I am NOT going outside with at least a coat of face powder, my contacts and hopefully an outfit not made of what ever material it is they make jogging pants out of.


EWWWW part II

So my mom, I think I shall call her, The Heavenly One is so gross. Now that I am an adult, I must admit that our relationship has changed drastically. We sit and have coffee, we gossip about our neighbors and various family members, we shop together, I can genuinely say I enjoy her companionship and friendship but I still have a lot of "mommy" respect for her. It is a far cry from our former relationsip during my teenager and early adult years (gasp, it's hard to admit that I am officially in my dare I write it: 'late twenties'. I am ACTUALLY grimacing as I am writing this, ewww! Now I just emitted the word 'ewwww' from my lips) which was more along the lines of , " I hate her", "why doesn't she mind her business?", "she gets on my nerves" and various other teenage and early adult utterances. But sometimes, The Heavenly One gets ahead of herself. Like today, I don't mind telling her about my relationship with Mysterious Ex, she has heard almost everything about him since the time he and I got together. She usually knows if he and I are going out and such because either I tell her, or she babysits my Sam for me. She knew Mysterious Ex and I went away this weekend so she wanted to hear about it. This is basically how our conversation went. Mind you, this is over coffee, tea cakes and these wonderful omelets she made:

The Heavenly One: So, how did you weekend with M.E. go? What did you guys do?

Me: Well, we went to the beach, we stayed in this little bungalow, it was cute. It had a little kitchenette thing. We basically hung out on the beach, we went to the movies, we walked around and just hung out a lot. It wasn't really a big "going away type thing" we basically did what we would do here, just some where else.

THO: (speaking oh so casually) So, did you have sex with him?

Me: (after choking on a tea cake) Ewwww, Mommy, shut up, that's gross! Why are you asking that?

THO: Oh, please, you're a grown woman, do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I don't know you have sex? It's a very natural thing MY NAME. You're so childish sometimes.

Me: I'M CHILDISH? (Said more as a high pitched screech than a yell or anything). I don't care to talk about that, you're my mom.

THO: EXACTLY, I'm YOU'RE mother. How do you think YOU got here?! You think the baby fairy came and dropped you in my lap?

Me: I choose to believe that, yes.

THO: Well, Miss Missy (only used when The Heavenly One is trying to be funny or rub my nose into something) You did not come from any fairy, your father and I had SEX. SEX, SEX, SEX!!

Me: Okay. (actually, I was at a lost for words)

THO: (having to have the last word) So there!


#1 Is she still saying Miss Missy? That's too funny. I dare not laugh at her in front of her, she is still my mom and a back hand slap can't be far behind that Miss Missy thing. Where does she get that anyway?

#2 Ewwww, who wants to hear about HER having sex?

#3 With my Dad? I mean I KNOW they had sex but why does she have to tell me? Can't some things just be left alone? Now I'll have THAT image in my head next time I feel like getting amorous.

Thanks mom.