Didn't do much today. Went to the post office, to the bank and then to the grocery store. Sam and I took a walk to the park where he played until some big grey dog came so we high tailed it out of there though Sam, forever the masculine little guy he is, tried to battle the dog. We then went to the 99 cent store so I could get some Tide and Downy for five dollars instead of the ten I usually pay for it. Then since I forgot to get milk at the grocery store, we went to the bodega and got some. SOme man let me cut him in line and offered to buy my mile which I thought was pretty weird until I looked down and saw that the twins were making a pushed up and well supported lovely appearance which then made me think about how stupid this man was that he would lose his place in line and part with his money because he got to see the crack of my breasts, that's so stupid. Sam and I then came home where I talked to my friend, The Girl Who Has a Great Life and Doesn't Even Know It. She didn't have any outlandish stories to tell today so our conversation was rather pleasant. I then spoke to my friend K whom I love and who lives in Chicago and who if he were willing to move to NYC or I to Chi-Town, I would definitely marry. I then tried to take a nap on the couch but only achieved watchng The Station Agent which I've seen like 10 times before. We then went to The Heavenly One's house because she had cake over there and I have decided to stop baking (at least for a while, I bake and eat, bake and eat, it's no good).

I had to get some pampers for Sam. He is usually house broken but, he has reached sexual maturity and so he is going through this phase where he feels it's his duty to piss over everything. I washed everything in my house that is piss - on - able whether he peed on it or not and wrapped those pampers tightly around his waist.

Haven't heard from Mysterious Ex in like two days. Not exactly true, he spoke to me for like 2 minutes the day before yesterday. He's away for work but, We've never not spoked when he was away on business. I called him this morning and left him a message but, he did not get back to me. I am very unhappy with how things are going between us and though I know the simple thing would be to just end things, I have these horribly conflicting feelings. One day I'm gung ho on letting him go, the next day I'm thinking about how I should stick things out with him. I'm very confused and that in itself isn't something I am happy about.

I haven't been hungry lately though I have been eating almost constantly whether I am hungry or not. I hate my emotional eating (one of the reasons I have decided to give up my favorite pass time of baking) I eat just to eat, pretty sickening.

I received a call from three different men in the past week whom I used to date or thought about dating. One is a guy, who is actually about 22 years older than me, though he looks like he's in him mid thirties that I really dug. He and I liked each other a lot, but when he found out I was 23, (this was a few years ago of course), he kind of backed off. I started seeing someon else and so we just parted ways. He usually calls me like two or three times a year to see if I would like to get together but usually, I'm seeing someone or just getting over seeing someone. He told me he would love to get together with me and I told him I would let him know. I'll see if I call him.

The other guy is this man who own an auto body shop. He was always REALLY nice to me and though I tried to like him, I was never attaracted to him, there weren't ever any sparks between us. He liked me A LOT and I felt bad when I ended things between us because I really tried to like him, I wanted to. He suggested we go out this weekend and I told him I was seeing someone, his answer was, if you're ever not seeing someone, give me a call.

The third guy is this older, rich guy that I dated for about a month. I actually met him the day I bought Sam home more than two years ago. This guy is really nice, very sweet, wants a full blown relationship and his very wealthy. We stopped seeing each other because, I am 5'9" and LOVE to wear heels, he is about 5'6". Also, he weighs about 130 pounds and let's just say I weigh A LOT more than 130 pounds. Also, (I don't mean this in a racist way at all) he's a little white guy. He's a sweet heart, but I just could never get over people staring at me. Here I am a nearly 6 foot tall, fat, curvy (very curvy) black chick with wild curly hair dating this 5'6" skinny, white guy. I always felt uncomfortable with him not because he made me feel that way but because of the stares we would always get, it was just too much for me to take.

So, will I go out with any of these guys? I'm not sure. I'm going to take a shower an try to finish this book I've been reading for the last two weeks.