Goodness Gracious the Vapors

For those of you who don't know, the Vapors is basically snubbing someone when they become "larger" than you or trying to hang around with someone you wouldn't ordinarily have hung out with now that they have acquired some kind of noteriety or something in their life has changed drastically.

The Vapors have struck some of my family. This is basically how things work, my brother and I being the two siblings in my family closest in age hang together. My brother is married and has two children but he's still my brother. We talk on the phone, we go to lunch, sometimes with his family, sometimes not. Last year my brother and I went on vacation together we went to visit our sister so it wasn't as though we were off in Cancun or anything, my brother and sister are cool, dare I say, I am cool. I have like 4 friends, 2 of them being women that I have known since age 0 and age 11 respectively, 1 of them being a cousin. She is the only person from my family that I consider a friend and one of two people that I speak to regularly. My brother is basically the same way. He has like 4 or 5 friends, 1 of them being his friend since he was a kid, 1 of them being a cousin and the others have been friends of his since he was a rookie (my brother's a detective). Anyway, my brother, my sister (the cool one) and I steer clear of most of my family. Why? Because they are nuts. Coincidentally, my other sister, the one who I can't stand, LOVES the rest of my family, she too is nuts but that's a different story that I will get around to at some other time. Anyway, my brother, sister and I have always been on the outside of the rest of my family, we always found company in each other even though we are spaced out in age. I say all of this to lead up to this story:

The Bride asked four of our cousins to be amongst her 18, EIGHTEEN bridesmaids. Here it is June 21, 4 days before her wedding and ALL FOUR have dropped out of her wedding. Why? Who knows. Could it be because these women aren't married and they are jealous? Could it be because this woman and her man seem kind of happy and they don't want to wish them well? Could it be because they are a bunch of evil bitches and no one should do that to any woman especially on her wedding day since she thought enough of you to ask that you be apart of her special day? I think that's the proper answer. All I know is it has caused a HUGE thing in the family as of course it should. Not only that but her caterer (who is another cousin and who caters for a living) has told her that since she has another event that day, she won't be able to cook all of the food she promised her since the other people paid The Caterer full price and The Bride did not even though get this, The Caterer INSISTED that she pay her half price, "we're cousins after all" was her reasoning. Isn't that some bull shit? Mother's are being called left and right even though everyone involved is at least 34 and in some cases, in their 40's. This, is why I don't talk to these people, they are fucking nuts. And, since other cousins are supposed to be the hosts and hostesses and are creating seating arrangements, etc. people are calling The Bride and her mother (who in turn calls my mother who in turn tells me who in turn tells you) "I don't want to sit next to __________, if you sit me next to him/her/them, I'm not coming. Such aggravation. Needless to say I feel very sorry for The Bride but, I did tell her sometime last year, you're married, fuck it, just buy a house and call it a day but, I guess people have to have what they want.

This weekend, Mysterious Ex got his truck back so we spent Sunday together, all day. We spoke a lot and went to my brother's for dinner. My nieces loved him as they always do and I have that stupid googly "I love him" feeling again. We're supposed to have dinner tomorrow and he promised (yet again) that he wants us to be together. He told me, "I love you. You've got to know that." When asked by one of my uncles, who happened to be at my brother's house, "When are we going to your wedding?" M.E. answered "Soon". But the crazy thing is, I'm scared, but I won't get into that now.

Today, The Heavenly One went to get some new glasses. Being my mother, she can't wait for anything so we had to go to this special eye doctor (in a fucking mall of all places) that all her friends told her about who has glasses ready in about three hours. So, 8 o'clock this morning, we trekked off to New Jersey which other than going to IKEA, is a place I usually drive THROUGH rather than drive TO. Her driver got us there in like less than an hour which I thought was rather cool and we asked him to be back around 1:30. We put in the order for her glasses, she paid. We did a little shopping. She bought me a new sleep mask (beautiful silk), some eye mask gel thingy that I've always wanted and never bought, some pricey body wash and a dress (rather expensive, I wouldn't have bought it). She bought a watch, a new LV bag, (as though she needs another), some pajamas and a dress. We then went to a day spa (a very nice one, there were water falls and fountains everywhere, that place alone was worth the trip) where we got manicures and pedicures and leg and hand massages. We ate cinnabons and coffee and went to pick up her glasses and then went outside thinking her driver would be waiting for us. So we waited, and waited and waited and waited. We called him, he called us, he was lost and his GPS system was not working. He began doing this crying, whining thing (which is actually sad considering he has to be in his forties) and we didn't get home until nearly 7. What a crazy day. Of course since we traveled by car and I expected to be in the lap of luxury all day, I wore 3 1/2 inch heels which hurt my feelt soooooooo bad. I was thisclose to going to PayLess and getting some 5 dollar flip flops but alas I did not. Needless to say, I am very tired and my feet are killing me. Sadder than that is tommorrow is my niece's kindergarten graduation which I promised her I would attend but which at this moment, seems like a promise I should not have made. I will turn in now so that I am refreshed and beautiful for tomorrow.