Eaten so far today:
Lunch: Captain Crunch
Plan on making chicken salad for dinner and baking some cookies after I take a nap

Exercise: Not a lot. Went food shopping then took Sam to the park

Resumes: 3 so far

Hours on phone: less than 1/2 got two interviews (woo hoo) and pledged some money to Save the Children

Bought: Food

My cat, yes I have a cat, I don't talk about him much because truth be told, he doesn't do much. He mostly sits, sleeps,looks out the window, eats, licks himself, looks at me and sits behind me in my chair. He occassionally sits on my bed and licks my toes but mostly, he sticks to himself. He sleeps in his own bed, under a side table in the living room because I assume he thinks he is too good to hang out with Samson and I on a regular basis. Yeah, he's snooty like that. He usually comes around when I open a can of food, when he smells I have something he wants to eat, like turkey or when HE feels like having a belly rub. Since my mom lives just down the way, he usually goes to her house after crying and scratching at the back door for about an hour and lucky me, he does all of his kitty litter business down the way. I guess in a way he's kind of our cat, my mom's and mine but truthfully he's mine since I bought him here when I was 16 and usually, he sleeps in my house. Anyway, my cat is crazy. This cat, who normally does nothing, just, less than five minutes ago, jumped up in the air, did a 3/4 flip in mid air, ran and swiped at Sam all in one move. What's with him? Somehow, I think that he thinks he's a dog and should be walked on a leash. Whenever Sam and I go out, he gets an attitude and tries to take it out on Sam, tripping him, swiping at him, play hissing at him and just being a general jerk.

You know, it never ceases to amaze me the things that people do in this world. It's crazy. I've known people to lie, scam and carry on, but every time I see it, it just leaves me mouth gappingly astounded. I never can seem to understand why people go to the lengths they do in order to get what they want from others, seemingly with no regard to that other person's feelings. Do people not have morals? Do they not have a conscience? I could not in good thought go around lying to, hurting and having a general disregard for people and not carry guilt about it. Even with that Mysterious Ex and (name ommitted and never to be mentioned her again) thing I just recently went through, my head hurt, I couldn't sleep, I obsessed over it because I felt that I was doing so many things wrong. It's sad because it leads me to question people in this world. I have had the good fortune of being able to surround myself with good natured people but often I feel there are so few of those kinds of people in the world. What is the sense of lying to someone, to screwing them over, of misleading them and hurting their feelings? How could someone live their lives fully and proplerly knowing that this is what they have done? I am glad that was raised the way that I have been. I am glad that I've had the parents I've had, the family I have and the friends I have. I am glad that I feel guilt and shame if I do something wrong. I am glad that I have compassion. I am glad that hurting people isn't something I want to do.

I am so conceited. I went food shopping this morning. At the supermarket, there is always this group of guys that help you load up your car or hail a cab for you, it's like an unofficial organized business of sorts. There is this one guy who is ALWAYS tyring to talk to me. He tells me EVERY time I go to the grocery store he likes me, he wants to take me out, he has a crush on me, etc. He is not a horrible looking guy but come on, he stands in front of the grocery store all day shuffling carts and hailing cabs. I mean dude, really. So, I tell mymom this tory and her answer to me, even though I know she was joking was, "he has a job". My mom goes on to tell me that this guy may very well be the best man I have ever come across and that I have to get my nose out of the air. She tells me how on the surface, Mysterious Ex is the "right" kind of guy, educated, good job, nice house, nice car and that our relationship is shaky at best and I am not sure if I even waant to be with him. She then brings up he whose given name shall not be typed here, and basically says the same things, lawyer, condo, nice car, asshole. So I think, wow, she may be right. She tells me, "your dad was truck driver, you would not have spoken to a man like that but, you father was a great man". I have to agree with her. My dad WAS a truck driver but, he bought a few houses, sent us to private school, was home every night, did all of those daddy things he was supposed to do, and loved the HELL out of my mother.

Side bar: six years ago, my mom was in the hospital and we were waiting for her to die (the doctors told us she would and that there was nothing else to be done) my father, the big rough, tough, truck driver, a man's man, an old Black guy from the South got down on his hands and knees and cried and prayed to GOD to not let my mother die. When my mom came home from the hospital, he carried her from bed to the bathroom everyday and wouldn't allow anyone else to touch her. Her nursed my mom back to health by himself with his love.

But, my mom pointed out "a man like that is not GOOD enough for you, you would turn your nose up at him". So, I think, what is really important? I want to be with someone who I get along with so, he would have to be educated I would guess but, my dad was not formally educated and I myself can say he was a brilliant man. What am I looking for? Have I passed it by already, continuously looking for the outside package? I know that in the past I have come across some really great guys who were too nerdy, too short, too fat, too skinny, used the word conversate, didn't know the stages of modern art, didn't know who Alvin Ailey was but, that stuff isn't important when it ocmes down to it. Have I done myself a disservice by cutting people off so quickly? Have I become this city dwelling judgemental bitch type? I hope not. Before meeting Mysterious Ex, I met this guy who was really very nice, he was sweet, funny, kind but in my eyes he wasn't too bright. One of my favorite artists is Gustav Klimt so I have "The Kiss" hanging behind my bed. One day (we were on our way to the kitchen which is next to the bedroom lest you think I was being slutty) he asked me, what is that, pointing at the print. I told him, it's Klimt, The Kiss. He didn't know who Klimt was or that I was referring to the title of the print when I said "The Kiss" that was the last time I saw him, I told him the next day, "I don't think we're right for each other". He could have been a great guy but, I would have never known. So, though this is going to be very, very hard, I have decided to get my panties out of a bunch. I'm going to stop pulling quick judgement calls on men and try my best to see them as the person they are. I could really uncover a diamond in the rough.

Blast, they didn't have my favorite candy at the store today. I was all set to taste the chocolaty toffee goddness of my sympohony bar but, it was not to be. When I asked the guy at the store about it he just looked at me like I was nuts and shrugged his shoulders, how rude. So, I will have to settle for my everything cookies, unless I convince M.E. to pick me up one if he comes by today. Off to take a nap. Long early day today.