Not Sure What's Going On

Eaten Today:
Breakfast: Toast, 2 sausage, boiled egg

Lunch: Lots of mini pretzels

Dinner: Turkey and Cheese Sandwich (didn't feel like cooking)

Hours on Phone: 2

Resumes: 6

Exercise: 3 hours of yard work

Bought: Coffee online

Well, Mysterious Ex alwasys tells me that I am very quick to dismiss him. He says I get easily upset with him and then I kind of just blow him off. I will not deny that I do that, I won't admit it either. The thing is, he always seems to be so busy, always seems to have so much other stuff going on his life, hence the name, Mysterious Ex. I've never in my life known someone who was ALWAYS on the go, ALWAYS having to do this, that or the other thing. Whenever I think we are going to do something, something else always comes up. He's just constantly moving. I was under the impression, yet again I might add, that we were doing something tonight. But now, he's not feeling well, he's upset over something that truth be told he does have a right to be upset over. I'm not stupid, I know that, he's not involved with anyone else, and the last time we broke up we had this HUGE week long argument where every bit of anger over every little thing he has ever done came out. I sincerely thought that since we had gone through such as ordeal if we tried to get together again, things would surely be different. It doesn't seem that way though. I don't want to go right ahead and dismiss him, especially since this is something he has told me I do over and over and over but, I often am not sure what else I should really do. I just really don't think that a relationship should be this difficult. It's a simple thing really, you dig someone, you want to hang out with them, things do come up from time to time in life but ALL of the time? That's just ridiculous. I give this one month, no more, no less, if things improve, great, if they don't, that's fine too. I don't want to give up on what could be a great relationship for a few things that could be fixed.

On the other side of things, I spoke to New Guy for like three hours last night. He really is a nice guy. But as I've said, every man is so nice in the beginning. He's more than a few years older than me which is what I am attributing his relationship oriented mind to. It's sad that I've met him at this stage. Of course I still love Mysterious Ex and that greatly complicates matters. I have told New Guy about M.E. but, M.E. doesn't know about New Guy. If I had met New Guy at a different time, I would totally dig him, actually, I do kind of dig him but, I can't ler go of Mysterious Ex of course. Uggh!, very frustrating stuff.