I Have Come to a Decision

Eaten Today:
Breakfast: 2 eggs, grits, sausage, toast
Lunch: Turkey and Cheese Sandwich
Dinner: Shrimp, Scallops and Crab
Lots of mini pretzels during the day

Hours on Phone: about 3

Resumes: 5

Exercise: Nada, I cut my foot yesterday :(

Bought: Some fabric for the doll I am working on


I made a decision today. I guess it is a difficult one and it kind of goes against a decision I made yesterday. Mysterious Ex is being his usual self. It's so difficult because he says he loves me, we break up and he's goes out of his way to try to get me to be with him again. He professes all of these feelings and adoration but, once we are together again, he seems to run right back into his old habits. He doesn't call as much as I would like him to. There was a time when he literally called me 4 or 5 times a day. Now it's once or twice. He doesn't even seem to have time for me. Here I am again waiting for him to call, waiting for him to make good on a promise. I don't want to complain because I know that he is going through things right now but, this is just how things were before between us. I feel as though I have no idea what's going on. Sometimes I think it may have been better if we had just left things the way they were. I know that I was sad without him and he says he was sad without me but, is it enough for him to just "have" me but not really spend time with me? I am not sure if he just wants us to be together in name because it seems to me as though he isn't making a true effort to spend more time with me. It's aggravating.

Then, there is New Guy who is sweet, and smart, and funny and a really great guy, (Mysterious Ex is also) but, he seems so much more interested in getting to know me. He always wants to spend time with me, he always wants to talk to me, he rearranges his schedule around me. Last night he said something to me that I haven't heard from Mysterious Ex in a truly long time. He plainly asked me, "what are we doing this weekend?" It was very sweet, I was actually taken a aback, not sure exactly what I should answer. Truth be told, since they both have similar attributes it would seem easy to just choose the one who seems to give more effort, he seems the better candidate. As I've said before, the love thing puts a great strain on the issue, but I fear aggravation will shade my rose colored glasses to a crystal clear.