Dammit, School Again, Uggggh

So, it's the day before school starts. I am supposed to be up at like 5 in the morning. So, am I getting much needed sleep? No, I'm up listening to Bjork and playing with Sam. Do I want to go to work? No. Do I need to go to work? Hell yes. Like a child, I refuse to go to bed at a decent time, but unlike a child, I have no mommy to put me to bed or wake me up in the morning. Well, I have a mommy, but she won't be putting me to bed or waking me up anytime soon.

So, today, I was looking at pictures me and my cousin T took at that wedding I went to earlier this summer, the one with the horrible cousins in the 100 degree heat. So, I look SO FAT in those pictures! WTF?! I mentioned this to The Heavenly One who diplomatically answers "MY NAME, you are a little heavier but it's nothing too bad". Gee, thanks Mom. Now I feel better. I then went scouring for pictures of me from last year and I found one where I was looking quite fetching and svelte. So, I took these two pictures and bent them in a way so that there are no other people to be seen. I stapled them together so that I could have a side by side comparison of me and Jesus, not only do I LOOK fat, my ass is FAT! I mean, I know that I know that I have gotten fatter. I've talked about it, blogged about it. I see it in all of the clothes that don't fit anymore. I did some fasting earlier and lost some weight, then when I got dressed for the last wedding I went to, I thought I lost some weight since the dress I wore seemed a little bigger, but last week, I put on this dress I haven't worn since last year and God, I looked awful. So now, for motivation/torture, I have hung this side by side picture of myself up over my desk, near my bedroom mirror, and I had the strange urge to put it near my fridge though I didn't. I'm, really pissed off too because I planned on baking a big batch of Gwen's chocolate chip cookies (with walnuts) mmmmmm, and a big batch of my everything cookies. Now, looking at my fat ass all over the place, I truly don't want to do it. I mean I love my body and all that jazz but God am I fat.