I thought the confusion was supposed to go away

Eaten Today:
Breakfast: Cup of oatmeal, two slices of whole wheat toast, orange juice

Dinner: Chef Salad, Ice cream, snickers miniatures (my mom gave them to me)

Hours on phone: about 2.5

Resumes: 4

Exercise: None

Bought: new tongue ring and doll hair (I'm starting a new doll)


The last few days have been okay I guess. I have seen Mysterious Ex and New Guy twice each in the last five days so today, I am getting a much needed rest. Right now I guess things are okay. I am enjoying both their company, I'm going out a lot and I almost always have something to do but, things will not stay this uncomplicated. Yesterday, New Guy asked me if I would mind if he introduced me as his girlfriend when I met his friends. I feel really bad, I want to tell him "no, I'm not your girlfriend, don't do that" but then I think, New Guy would make a great boyfriend, why wouldn't I want him to be? Then I remember Mysterious Ex who has been making this great effort in our relationship, it's so weird. It's like he never does any of the silly things he used to do. It makes it a very strange situation for me to be apart of. I am not going to be able to keep this two "boyfriend" thing up, eventually, I am going to have to choose someone. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings in the the end of all of this, I can't be that person.

I was beginnign to get a bit worried because I haven't really heard from Lane Bryant. I think I would be great working there plus, I really want to work there. I was getting kind of anxious then, I had to remember I really only went on the interview two days ago. I guess it will take them that long to make decisions and call references. I have to admit that I am very nervous though. It has never taken me this long to get a job and truthfully, I can't understand why it is taking so long. I was going to call my alma mater and set up a meeting with the employment office thinking maybe they had some tips or techniques that I could probably use.

I have to exercise more. Though I haven't been gaining weight, I haven't been losing any either. I eat too much but, being home is conducive to overeating. I really don't have much to do, I rarely skip a meal, it's just very difficult to stay motivated when I'm not doing much outside of the house. I was walking again for a while but truthfully, that gets so boring. I was doing a lot of yard work but, once the over winter weeding and planting is done, maintainence doesn't really take much. I'm just tired of being here, I'm ready to move on and do something new. It bores me to be home.

I am so tired today. I was hanging out with New Guy until really late last night, he brought me home, came in for a while and then we stayed on the phone half the night since he called me when he got home. Yesterday, I was looking at all of these ghost pictures on line (since I have nothing to do) and so last night, I could not sleep. I am such a baby. I stayed up watching Shrek 2 until the sun came up and the birds were chirping. I really have to stop. Since I am bored, I think I am going to give myself a new hairstyle. I have been debating it for the last couple of days because I can at times, be very impulsive. I've been wearing my hair curly for about the last month, and though that has been fun, now it's just boring. Maybe I'll dye my hair, maybe I'll chop it all off, I'll see. I just feel restless, and sleepy, I think I'll go to bed now.