You know, I have to say that for the first time in a very long time, I am happy. I know that I have LOTS to be happy about. I am healthy, I have a home, I have a loving and wonderful family, I have great friends but many times, I allow other things to interfere with these thoughts or my appreciation of them. For a while, I have felt okay. I am pleased to feel this way, it is a great feeling.

I had my tea party tody and though the chance of rain forced me to hold it indoors, it was a splendid day and we all had a great time. Reason #1 why I need a boyfriend or a very close male friend: Picture me, 10 o'clock in the morning pushing a room full of furniture including two 6 foot sofas onto their sides, down a hall and up in the air as to make room in my downstairs living room for 12 women and two tables worth of food! I did this ALL BY MYSELF! First off, I didn't think I had the strength to do such things so, GO ME! Second, I'm REALLY healthy for a fat girl. I did all of this and I mean I was literally lifting these couches, and barely broke a sweat, it was a lot of work but, it didn't take much effort, and my lazy ass doesn't want to go to the gym. I will post pics but for the moment, my camera is downstairs and truthfully, I'm too lazy to go get it.

I've been doing family research and I have found my great, great, great, great grandmother! It is so amazing the research that can be done and the uncovering no matter how slight of a past that I knew absolutely nothing about. Lately, I have beeb reflecting on life. On the memory of my daddy especially and of how much, though I never realized before, how much I miss him. Honestly, there are few things in my life that I regret, if any but, I do regret or maybe a better description would be that I am sorry that I never had the chance to relate to my dad as an adult. I miss him. As I speak with my mom now, especially realizing the way that she and I relate as mother and daughter/friends, (since our relationship has changed drastically from the days when I actually needed mothering) I miss the relationship that my daddy and I would have had at this stage in my life. There are so many things that I want to ask him. There are stories that I want him to tell me. Right now, I am sitting in the very room in which he died and I so much want to even if just for a day, be in his presence because I never got that chance with him. He was always just Daddy, I never saw him as the man that he was. I only ever saw him as my dad. I have started writing a book, that I hope will become an heirloom (if that is the right word). It is filled so far with my family history, as far as I have traced it as well as memories, stories of my granparents, stories told to me by my dad, mom, aunts and uncles. I honestly don't quite understand the introspective/historic thing I've been going through lately but, I think it may have a lot to do with my mood. Overall, I honestly haven't felt this good in a very long time.

School starts again soon and, I may have an out of classroom postion, Yay!! I'm not going to talk much about it yet since it's still a bit up in the air.

I'm sooooo sleepy right now, I've been up since early this morning and have done a lot so, I'm out.